Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Getting Answers We Don't Want

In January I posted about letting go, it has been a real struggle to do that.  I didn't want to give up if it was in the Lord's plan for my husband and I to have more children, but I was trying to let go of it being in my hands.  Baby things are expensive, and I have managed to get to the point I'm willing to give away our baby things if I felt it was the right thing to do.  

Ever since C4--Princess Ballerina's birth I have felt that we had two more children that needed to join our home.  Her brother, C5-aka Trainboy, is one of those children.  I've been wondering if our two little babies I saw heartbeat and movement were the reason I still feel our family is incomplete. 
I've been feeling like I am in limbo.  I've been trying to patiently wait the for the answer to my prayers regarding the size of our family.  Very recently it came.  

It is a very personal story, and I don't want to go into too much detail, but I do want to share some things.  I have been praying for help in being patient for the Lord's answers regarding our family.  I have been trying to make more opportunities to hear the whispers or promptings of the Holy Spirit--that divine guidance I believe we can all hear if we try.  

The answer I got was that I had done enough for our family and I could move on.  I should focus on my family as it is now and do all I can for them.  I wept with gratitude when my answer came.  It's not the answer I was hoping for, but I know it is the right answer.  I feel at peace.  

Not long after getting this answer I learned of some people who could really use some baby items.  I am happy I could help in whatever small way I can.  

My heart stills yearns for another baby, but I trust in the Lord.  I trust that if I can align my will to his I will be better for it.  

I am grateful the Lord answers prayers and for His infinite wisdom.  

If you are struggling with putting your trust in the Lord, if you've gotten an answer you don't want, I encourage you to just do it--just trust.  Our Heavenly Father knows you and what you need.  I know this.  I know that there is peace, comfort, and safety in the arms of the Lord. 

May you have a wonderful day and know that you are loved.