Song of My Heart

Okay, this may sound strange, but I was in the car the other day and listening to mp3's.  (That by itself is not really strange).  I have a love of big orchestral scores and in particular soundtracks.  I was listening to Steve Jablonsky's "Arrival to Earth" from the first Transformers movie.  What was strange was that I realized in a way it reflected my feelings about our family's autism journey.

The music starts off low and quiet and a bit dark.  Like something is creeping up on you and you're not quite sure what is going on.  With Firstborn things crept up on us.  We knew he had some sensitivities, but being first-time parents, we didn't realize they were red flags.  We didn't know enough to start early interventions.  We knew Whirlwind had a short fuse and seemed a bit behind his peers emotionally, but we had no answers. 

The strings begin repeating their theme a bit frenetically.  We start learning about Firstborn's diagnosis and putting all the pieces in place.  It was a massive learning curve and really intimidating.  We hid his diagnosis from many people--including him for a long time.  Whirlwind and Lawboy were diagnosed with ADHD and we were trying to figure out the best ways to help them.   We finally find something that works for impulse control only to find that Whirlwind, and later Lawboy, are also on the spectrum and it was hidden by his ADHD.  Acroboy shows signs of being on the spectrum and we finally get evaluations and answers.

The strings change into the main theme and the main work begins.  We are working in earnest on social stories, conversations, food therapies, counseling, support groups and we no longer hide.

The music builds and voices join in.  We find we have many people on our team, though we are not opposition free.

The music continues to swell and rise.  I have hope my children, despite their disabilities, will thrive and succeed.  I have seen so much growth in them.  I am so blessed they do as well as they do.  I recently met my friend's sister, who has a 17 year-old non-verbal son.  I am lucky and I know it.

The music goes quiet with voices singing in a Gregorian-like harmony--a moment of stillness and reflection.  Then come the drums--almost like a warcall.  I will fight for my kids.  I will keep fighting battles and equipping them the best I can to fight their own as well.

The music swells and presses forward.  We will press forward and we will not give up.  Autism may be in my family, but it is not all that my family is.  My kids, my husband and my faith are my greatest blessings from God.  They each have the potential to great things in their own way and I will do everything in my power to help them achieve their goals. 

Music Man

Lawboy has applied to the performing arts high school Firstborn attends, AND BEEN ACCEPTED!  The competition was tough.  Several violinists auditioned and only four were accepted.  I am bursting at the seems with pride in his accomplishments.  I was hoping he would get in--my dad (who plays six instruments and sings really well) says he thinks Lawboy has a lot of natural musical talent.  I think this will be an excellent place for him to hone his talent and find more discipline in it. 

He loves robotics and seriously considered applying to Whirlwind's STEM high school.  He weighed this decision heavily for weeks, and prayed about his course of action.

In the end, he applied to the arts school first and decided to put his efforts into his audition pieces.

I think this will be a good move for him on multiple fronts.  It's a smaller school with lots of quirky, but friendly kids.  I think he and his sense of humor will fit right in.  There is an additional benefit that this year I have seen a pronounced decrease in the amount of fighting between all of my boys, and between Whirlwind and Acroboy in particular.  With Whirlwind having a "school of his own",  it seems to give him a sense of ownership, uniqueness (from his brothers) and it promotes his love of math and science.  With Lawboy going to a different high school I have high hopes their relationship will continue to improve because they won't be figuratively stepping on each others toes. 

I have high hope for my boys and their futures.  

Practice Pays Off

I am proud of my boys.  We have a county wide youth orchestra once a year.  Everyone auditions with the same selected pieces and then they are placed in chairs. Firstborn auditioned and for the first time in several years, he is first chair! I am so happy for him.  Whirlwind really doesn't like to practice, but wanted to continue orchestra this year.  We had him audition as well, and though he felt some of the pieces were above his skill level, he  was placed above his expectations.  I am waiting to hear how Lawboy's audition went.  He hasn't really been focussing on preparing his All-County pieces as much as his audition pieces for the same school Firstborn goes to.

Update:  Lawboy got third chair (first violin) for the Middle School Orchestra!  I am so proud of my boys! 

Success and Failure-Whirlwind and High School

So we have some success, and a failure.

Whirlwind did NOT get into the performing arts high school Firstborn attends.

I'm actually kind of grateful.

It's like pulling teeth to get him to practice.  He spends most of his time fighting me on it, walking away and just getting distracted.  Twenty minutes of practicing often turns into an hour or more because he interrupts his own playing.  (If he'd just buckle down and get it done, he would be done so much faster).  I can only imagine what agony next year would be if we had to fight to get him to practice to keep his grades up. 

Whirlwind DID get into the STEM magnet program.  I have high hopes for him here.  I've met with the counselor there and we attended an orientation meeting of sorts.  He's pretty excited about this new venture and so am I. 

Getting Whirlwind Ready for High School

In our school district, we have magnet programs.  Firstborn goes to a great school geared towards the arts.  He is getting top notch instruction in instrumental playing.  Whirlwind hates to practice, yet he has decided to apply to this school because he likes what his brother says about the students and the atmosphere.

In the meantime, another high school has a great STEM program (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math).  Whirlwind says he wants to be an engineer someday.  I think this is the better path for him. We're encouraging him to apply to this program.

We should know something about both schools by April.  I'll post the results.  

Proud and Humble Mama

Today was a good day. It started off rocky, I had to run to a big box store to get black polo shirts for an upcoming concert for my boys. The three oldest had their solo and ensemble competitions today. Two of the boys needed to be there at 9:20 and though I kept watching my time on my watch, I hadn't counted on how long it would take to get through checkout. I kept calling home to keep them apprised of my progress, and to coach them on how ready they should be at that point.

Lawboy kept answering the phone and I don't know if he ever passed on my messages. My instructions before I left and on my phone calls were to shower, eat, take medications, have instruments packed and ready to go as well as have music. I called when I was about five minutes from home and instructed them to put their instruments in the van (I was in my husband's commuter car).

I got home about two minutes after we were supposed to be at the school (which takes about seven minutes to get to). They were still getting things together--despite the three "signpost" phone calls I had made. Whirlwind was still in his pajamas. I had planned on taking all three of them to the competition at the same time.

We finally got the two older ones out the door. I am not very proud to admit I was berating them for not following directions and running so late. A little voice inside my head told me I was not helping them be calm or prepare to perform at their best.  It was humbling.

I apologized to the boys for yelling.  I explained my reason for wanting to get them there early was to give them time to warm up and prepare and be calm.  I realized my yelling hadn't helped matters. I asked Firstborn to say a prayer because we had lost the influence of the Holy Spirit because of my yelling. He gave a beautiful prayer asking for the spirit to come back and to help them in their performances inasmuch as they had prepared to play their pieces. I think we all felt better after that, and that was proud mama moment number one.  He was showing maturity where I had not. 

I dropped the kids off and parked the car.  Just as I was coming in the school I saw Firstborn talking to his teacher.  His copy of his music had gone missing.  He was worried.  The teacher suggested he check his things again and retrace his steps back to the car.  Firstborn and I both said hurried prayers to find the music.  I ran to the car to check for his music, and then called home and had them check too.  The family and home and I came up with nothing. 

When I got back into the building, I could not find Firstborn. I found Lawboy who said Firstborn had been called back to play already. We checked with his teacher, but none of us had any idea whether or not he had found his missing music. Very quickly, Lawboy was called back to perform his piece.  I saw him off and headed home to get Whirlwind.

My sweet boys showed me generosity of spirit by being willing to forgive my crazy mama moments and berating I had done.  They were definitely more mature than I had been.  It is humbling when your child(ren) can show you how you should have behaved.  

When I arrived home, Whirlwind still had not showered. He was dressed, but not showered. I learned my lesson, and stayed calm.  I did make him shower and change his clothes into a white shirt and tie. His performance time was later, but I wanted to get him there with plenty of time to tune his instrument. It turns it out that was a good thing. And though Whirlwind kept whining and asking for his DS (which I did not give), I still kept my cool this time. He threatened to quit cello for the umpteenth time to which I calmly gave him options if he chose to quit.  I replied if he was choosing to quit we could either sell his cello, or he could pay me back for it if he wanted to keep it and not play it.  He loves his cello enough (though he hates to practice) that he calmed down.

In the end we got him there, he tuned his cello with the help of a teacher, and he performed. It was the first year of "competition" for Whirlwind and Lawboy, but the third for Firstborn. Whirlwind and Lawboy both got a rating of II.  This is really good for a first competition. We were expecting harder judging now that Firstborn is competing on a high school level, so we were absolutely thrilled when he came back with a I, which qualifies him to compete at state. He qualified last year too, but the state competition was held around the time Baby Girl was due.

At the end of the day, I am both proud of my boys and humbled by their actions.  They were quick to forgive and move on.  How often can I take a page from their book and not hold on to a grudge?  I try to not hold grudges, but I find that I will sometimes spend an hour or two in "righteous indignation" before I calm down.  They did it within less than an hour.

Something to think about.

I am so proud of my boys and all of their hard work!  Congratulations boys and thanks for being a good example to your mother.