Scout Mom

I plan on posting soon about the reasons I think Scouting is a great thing for boys--especially those on the autism spectrum.  For right now I will say this has been the scouting month. 

• We had our Pinewood Derby
• We had our District dinner, which we attended because Firstborn was presented with an award.  
• We were going to go to another large scouting function recently but it was postponed because of weather.  We spent the day working on scouts instead.  We caught Acroboy up in his Wolf book.  Lawboy and Whirlwind worked on merit badges as did Firstborn to a degree (though he is an Eagle Scout, so I don't ask him to do as much as his brothers).  
• I attended a council trainer meeting and now I'm an official trainer with the council
• We had another Eagle Board recently--I was in charge of staffing it
• Blue and Gold Banquet is tonight
• Troop Fundraiser is coming up right away as well.
• I'm coaching another scout on getting his Eagle application in right away.  
• I've been recruited to train Cubmasters at a not-too-distant function
• I'm now co-chairing a merit badge day fair.  

I wouldn't be doing any of this if I wasn't passionate about scouting.  Scouting has done more for my family than I can possibly say, and it has literally meant the difference between life and death.  I'm a bit behind in laundry, but it is worth it to make sure these kids have great opportunities. 

Song of My Heart

Okay, this may sound strange, but I was in the car the other day and listening to mp3's.  (That by itself is not really strange).  I have a love of big orchestral scores and in particular soundtracks.  I was listening to Steve Jablonsky's "Arrival to Earth" from the first Transformers movie.  What was strange was that I realized in a way it reflected my feelings about our family's autism journey.

The music starts off low and quiet and a bit dark.  Like something is creeping up on you and you're not quite sure what is going on.  With Firstborn things crept up on us.  We knew he had some sensitivities, but being first-time parents, we didn't realize they were red flags.  We didn't know enough to start early interventions.  We knew Whirlwind had a short fuse and seemed a bit behind his peers emotionally, but we had no answers. 

The strings begin repeating their theme a bit frenetically.  We start learning about Firstborn's diagnosis and putting all the pieces in place.  It was a massive learning curve and really intimidating.  We hid his diagnosis from many people--including him for a long time.  Whirlwind and Lawboy were diagnosed with ADHD and we were trying to figure out the best ways to help them.   We finally find something that works for impulse control only to find that Whirlwind, and later Lawboy, are also on the spectrum and it was hidden by his ADHD.  Acroboy shows signs of being on the spectrum and we finally get evaluations and answers.

The strings change into the main theme and the main work begins.  We are working in earnest on social stories, conversations, food therapies, counseling, support groups and we no longer hide.

The music builds and voices join in.  We find we have many people on our team, though we are not opposition free.

The music continues to swell and rise.  I have hope my children, despite their disabilities, will thrive and succeed.  I have seen so much growth in them.  I am so blessed they do as well as they do.  I recently met my friend's sister, who has a 17 year-old non-verbal son.  I am lucky and I know it.

The music goes quiet with voices singing in a Gregorian-like harmony--a moment of stillness and reflection.  Then come the drums--almost like a warcall.  I will fight for my kids.  I will keep fighting battles and equipping them the best I can to fight their own as well.

The music swells and presses forward.  We will press forward and we will not give up.  Autism may be in my family, but it is not all that my family is.  My kids, my husband and my faith are my greatest blessings from God.  They each have the potential to great things in their own way and I will do everything in my power to help them achieve their goals. 

Autism Parenting is Lonely

There is just no other way to say it.

Parenting (in general) can be hard enough.  Parenting special needs children can present a whole new slew of challenges.  You have to be creative in a million different ways, develop and use more patience than you ever thought you were capable of, become an expert in therapies you never really heard of before diagnosis and face challenges and scrutiny when you go out.  We prepare the kids every time before we go out to a restaurant with the rules of conduct. The older ones mostly get it, but Acroboy still needs to be coached EVERY SINGLE TIME.  And I'm lucky because I can take them to restaurants and public places, because others I know are not so lucky.  I'll stop there for now.

It's difficult for friends of neurotypical kids to understand all this.  After years of working with my family (and tremendous growth on my kids' part) my childhood family are beginning to really see the awesomeness of my kids, and understand the challenges of how we've gotten to where we are.  

As a mom to special needs children, it hurts when your child(ren) don't get invited to parties because of their mannerisms and quirks.  It also hurts when YOU don't get invited to things because of your children and/or the schedule you have for your child(ren)'s sake.

Misunderstandings

It's taken me a long while to write about this because of how sensitive the feelings of those involved are.

Let's first visit the day we found out that not only was Acroboy on the Autism spectrum, but that he has ADHD as well.  I really wasn't surprised by the dual-diagnosis, but it still hit me hard.  I knew with the diagnosis just how hard life could be for Acroboy.  Add to that pregnancy hormones, and it was a pretty emotional day.  Even though I expected the diagnosis, it feels like a mourning for the child that will never be.

I was driving home from our favorite Autism center, and I got a phone call from my sister (J).  She told me that I should not have my mother come out to help with the new baby because, "to be blunt, your kids overwhelm her."

Wow.

Ouch.

Now, my mom has had lots of health problems and I was already trying to figure out an alternative.  (She had called me up an announced she was coming out to help a week or so prior).  I have steep stairs in my house and my mom has knee problems as well as Lupus, and stress makes her Lupus flare up.  I didn't think this was necessarily a good combination.

Camp Half Blood Here We Come (Well, the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam at Least)

So one of the many preparations we took for our family vacation and reunion for my parent's 50th anniversary was to make more family shirts.  The older boys are HUGE Percy Jackson fans--and two of them have ADHD, so they like to joke they are just like Percy in some ways.  (If you haven't checked out any of Rick Riordan's books, I highly recommend you do).

In any case, Whirlwind suggested that since our itinerary included seeing both the Grand Canyon and Hoover Dam (sites where a couple of events in the books take place), we make Camp Half Blood t-shirts.  Camp Half Blood is where Percy Jackson and all the other demi-gods go each summer to escape the monsters from mythology.  They learn to fight, use their talents and, more often than not, go on quests.  Their t-shirts are orange with a Pegasus and the name Camp Half Blood on them.

I found the graphic online and converted it into an SVG file so I could cut it using my Silhouette Cameo.  I used the freezer paper technique to create the stencil.  I used Safety Orange shirts--which had the added benefit of making my family really easy to spot anyplace we were at.  Having had a child wander off before, I also know it's really easy to say to employees, "My child is wearing a shirt exactly like mine," and then everyone knows what to look for. 

Then I used a combination of black Sharpie and black paint to fill in the blank parts of the stencil.  You must make sure you have something between layers of shirt to protect the backside from getting colored/painted on.

Finished product (against record low levels of the Hoover Dam).  

Music Man

Lawboy has applied to the performing arts high school Firstborn attends, AND BEEN ACCEPTED!  The competition was tough.  Several violinists auditioned and only four were accepted.  I am bursting at the seems with pride in his accomplishments.  I was hoping he would get in--my dad (who plays six instruments and sings really well) says he thinks Lawboy has a lot of natural musical talent.  I think this will be an excellent place for him to hone his talent and find more discipline in it. 

He loves robotics and seriously considered applying to Whirlwind's STEM high school.  He weighed this decision heavily for weeks, and prayed about his course of action.

In the end, he applied to the arts school first and decided to put his efforts into his audition pieces.

I think this will be a good move for him on multiple fronts.  It's a smaller school with lots of quirky, but friendly kids.  I think he and his sense of humor will fit right in.  There is an additional benefit that this year I have seen a pronounced decrease in the amount of fighting between all of my boys, and between Whirlwind and Acroboy in particular.  With Whirlwind having a "school of his own",  it seems to give him a sense of ownership, uniqueness (from his brothers) and it promotes his love of math and science.  With Lawboy going to a different high school I have high hopes their relationship will continue to improve because they won't be figuratively stepping on each others toes. 

I have high hope for my boys and their futures.  

Practice Pays Off

I am proud of my boys.  We have a county wide youth orchestra once a year.  Everyone auditions with the same selected pieces and then they are placed in chairs. Firstborn auditioned and for the first time in several years, he is first chair! I am so happy for him.  Whirlwind really doesn't like to practice, but wanted to continue orchestra this year.  We had him audition as well, and though he felt some of the pieces were above his skill level, he  was placed above his expectations.  I am waiting to hear how Lawboy's audition went.  He hasn't really been focussing on preparing his All-County pieces as much as his audition pieces for the same school Firstborn goes to.

Update:  Lawboy got third chair (first violin) for the Middle School Orchestra!  I am so proud of my boys! 

Tracking Paperwork for Special Needs Kids--My Autism Binder

• 
•  
• Hello!
• With six children, four of whom are on the autism spectrum and my toddler receiving services for speech and sensory issues, I need to be an organized mom.  Admittedly, some areas of my life are better organized than others.  Today I want to address something I've never really seen talked about--the sheer amounts of paperwork that comes with a special needs child and how to organize it.
• Whether you are like me with one or more kids with special needs and you've been doing this for a while, or a mother with a newly diagnosed child, you need a way to keep track of the appointments, progress reports, evaluations and 504, IEP and IFSP paperwork.  If you have a newly diagnosed child, I want to especially welcome you.  Take a deep breath and know that it will be okay because YOU ARE NOT ALONE.  You need to know this because I made so many missteps when we were first dealing with a new diagnosis.  The biggest one was not reaching out and sharing with others.

Umm, What Was That Again?

Warning--this post contains information of emergency urological kind.  If you are squeamish, stop reading and enjoy this picture of lovely flowers.  If you dare read on...

We Have An Eagle Scout!!!

Firstborn passed his Eagle Board of Review tonight!  I am so excited.  This has been such a long road for us.  It was actually his first (and very astute) Cub Scout Den Leader who noticed what a hard time Firstborn had in socializing with the other boys.  She started us on our path of discovery and understanding about autism.  

Firstborn took on a project beyond his skill set (not the least of which was making himself feel comfortable talking to adults about his project--a challenge for any kid--let alone one with Aspergers).  My Dad helped him with gain the skill set to put these chairs together for the park service.


Dear Hubby's parents are visiting, so we all celebrated with a delicious chocolate cake.  Now I just have to plan the Eagle Court of Honor....

Hope you have happy news in your day!

Success and Failure-Whirlwind and High School

So we have some success, and a failure.

Whirlwind did NOT get into the performing arts high school Firstborn attends.

I'm actually kind of grateful.

It's like pulling teeth to get him to practice.  He spends most of his time fighting me on it, walking away and just getting distracted.  Twenty minutes of practicing often turns into an hour or more because he interrupts his own playing.  (If he'd just buckle down and get it done, he would be done so much faster).  I can only imagine what agony next year would be if we had to fight to get him to practice to keep his grades up. 

Whirlwind DID get into the STEM magnet program.  I have high hopes for him here.  I've met with the counselor there and we attended an orientation meeting of sorts.  He's pretty excited about this new venture and so am I. 

Firstborn's Journey to Diagnosis Part One

In honor of Autism Awareness Month, I thought I would write a little about our journey to getting Firstborn's diagnosis.

Looking back on things now, the warning signs were all there, but I didn't see them. To use a metaphor, I didn't know all the things I was seeing with my son were all pieces of a bigger puzzle. The Autism puzzle.

When Firstborn was about eighteen months, it is apparent to me now that he took us quite literally at our word. We would play a game where he would put his blanket over his head and we would say, "Where is firstborn? Where is he? I don't see him. I can't find him." He would then pull the blanket off of his head and we would act surprised he was there. We would all giggle and laugh and have fun. We thought he would perceive this as a game since Firstborn had reached the milestone where he could find an object we would hide under a pillow.

One day when we were watching a friend's very active toddler, Firstborn was getting visibly overwhelmed. He climbed onto our couch and put his blanket over his head. The little boy climbed the couch as well and proceeded to shower Firstborn with lots and lots of attention. The look on Firstborn's face was one of utter bewilderment. Why hadn't the blanket trick worked? Why was this little boy still engaging him?

When Firstborn's diet became more and more restrictive, we wrote it off as being a really picky eater. Everyone assured us he would outgrow it. The fact that he cried, gagged and sometimes threw up when presented with new foods or textures was all a part of that pickiness. It was weird that my kid cried when I offered chocolate ice cream, but that was all. Firstborn was also able to discern real Cheerios from the generic kind--even if I hid the generic kind in a Cheerios box. He would gag and throw up if I tried to make him take a bite of them after he discovered the difference.  He loved pepperoni pizza and the flavor the pepperoni left on the crust, but would not actually eat the pepperoni. If a texture was wrong on even a favorite food (stale, mushy, etc) he would gag and throw up.

We had other red flags too. Firstborn would cover his ears in situations most people would not. We took him to see movie, "Thomas and the Magic Railroad". He absolutely loved Thomas, but spent the entire movie covering his ears. He also covered his ears the very first time we went on " it's a Small World" at Disneyland. Storms have always terrified him.

Firstborn also lined up his cars and would spin the wheels.  I thought he was organizing his cars.

He engaged in a lot of parallel play, but was often in the sidelines watching. He didn't seem to enjoy talking to other kids as much as he enjoyed talking to adults. I thought he was just shy.

When he asked to watch a video, he always called it by its full name. He would ask to watch, "Cinderella II: Dreams Come True" instead of just Cinderella II.

We used to have a cling map of the United States we put on our fridge. The map had labels for the states and each week we learned a new state. At three He was better at naming all the states than his high school babysitter.

Firstborn also did not deal with frustrations well. He would shut down and cry or completely freak out in what he perceived as a crisis situation (like if the milk spilled). It was hard for me to tell there was any difference between toddler/preschooler frustration levels and those of someone with more challenges.

When he was a little older he had a lot of anxiety related to school and making friends. In encouraging him to talk to new kids, I asked him, "What is the worst thing that could realistically happen if you talk to them and ask if they want to be your friend?" To which he answered, "They'll want to kill me."

We've worked through some of his anxieties, but as I have learned, sometimes anxiety can sneak back into your life, even when you know it is illogical to feel that way.

As he got older he began attending Cub Scouts. His Wolf Den leader is the one who first spoke to me about the possibility Firstborn might be on the Autism spectrum with Aspergers.

My first reaction I will admit was anger. How could she suggest anything was wrong with my child? He was shy, not Autistic. He could talk to adults just fine, he made eye contact, and he had one on one friends.

When I was younger I had the opportunity to hear Kim Peek, who was the inspiration for the movie, "Rainman" and his father speak at a conference. I did not see any resemblance between Kim and my son.

How little did I know that every person on the Autism spectrum has their own unique set of challenges.

When I calmed down I did some research and began to realize more and more that Firstborn probably had Aspergers. I talked to the school counselor and psychologist. They agreed Firstborn had several traits of having Aspergers. I expressed my apprehensions about labeling and therefore limiting my child. They were happy to comply.

We did get and had been getting supports for Firstborn in the form of individual
Coaching/counseling, small social group meetings, allowances from teachers for extra testing time or verbal testing (he was such a perfectionist he wouldn't write down his answers if he could not make it perfect. It wasn't until his teacher began to verbally quiz him we understood this).

Yet because of my fear and ignorance, I didn't get things written down in any official capacity like a 504 or IEP.

I wish I knew then what I know now.

More of Firstborn's story on another day.

Getting Whirlwind Ready for High School

In our school district, we have magnet programs.  Firstborn goes to a great school geared towards the arts.  He is getting top notch instruction in instrumental playing.  Whirlwind hates to practice, yet he has decided to apply to this school because he likes what his brother says about the students and the atmosphere.

In the meantime, another high school has a great STEM program (Science, Technology, Engineering and Math).  Whirlwind says he wants to be an engineer someday.  I think this is the better path for him. We're encouraging him to apply to this program.

We should know something about both schools by April.  I'll post the results.  

Let's Add Another Allergy to the Mix

Okay.  So the doctor visit was mostly helpful.  Here's what I was told.  The rash (because of it's stages), looks like chicken pox--except it's not anywhere on her trunk.  It could be hand, foot and mouth--except it's not anywhere in her mouth.  We are left with being mostly positive it is an allergic reaction to her penicillin based antibiotic.

The plan:  Treat her with a tiny dosage of Benadryl several times a day for the next two days.  Change antibiotics immediately to take care of the strep throat.  Watch for any worsening of the rash or of other symptoms.

So now we make the changes and wait and see.  We have a couple of appointments I'll need to rearrange since I'm going to keep her at home just to be on the safe side. The most frustrating part of this is just not knowing.

Allergic Reaction to Penicillin?

My baby has come down with step throat.  It's the first time she's had it.  She had an ear infection once before and had amoxicillin for it.  She's had three doses of the antibiotic for the strep throat.  We were sitting in church today and as we were sitting there we notice angry red spots on her legs.  We thought maybe it was a reaction to the cow's milk we gave her.  (The pediatric allergist wanted us to try cow's milk again once she hit 18 months).  The longer we sat there, the more spots appeared.  Literally in the course of one hour she was covered in spots. 

As soon as we realized more and more spots were appearing, I pulled her out of church.  I called the doctor immediately and described what I saw.  Angry red spots that were on her arms legs and a tiny bit on her face and now appearing on hands and feet. No spots on her trunk.  The doctor said it sounded like an allergic reaction and to bring her in the next morning.  She said to discontinue the use of the antibiotic until she was seen, but if the rash got worse or affected breathing, take her to the ER.

I watched her carefully and no more spots appeared.  Breathing was normal too.  We've put her to bed and I'm anxious to find out if my baby (in addition to a dairy allergy) has an allergy to antibiotics too. 

Autism Hat Tutorial

 

For a while now I've been contemplating making something that would possibly make my life a little easier.  I've had enough meltdowns on outings with my ASD kids to know I wanted to do something to indicate we are an Autism family.  I also wanted it to be an item I could keep in my car or diaper bag and pull out if we had an unplanned excursion.  (Those are the kind that prompt the most meltdowns).

There are great t-shirts out there, but those would be wearable once and then need to be washed.  I would also have to get it back into the bag/car after it was washed. (Which might be a challenge since I've forgotten to restock diapers for the baby from time to time).  I also wanted to have whatever I made available for daily use on our vacation to Disney World. 

I thought about creating vests out of lightweight material, and I may still do that, but another crafter on the fabric store suggested hats to me.  This made total sense to me since I have to have all the kids pack hats for the Florida sun anyway.  I checked out the store and they both painters caps and plain baseball caps.

I found this awesome puzzle piece flannel in the fabric store.  Multi-colored puzzle pieces are a symbol for Autism, so this was perfect for my needs.

I used my silhouette cameo with a fabric blade and iron-on interfacing.  Flannel is thicker, so I found the canvas setting worked well.  I used a downloaded Mickey head and turned it into a cut file using my silhouette software.  I cut three from the fabric. You can't really see two cut Mickeys with this photo, but they were there. 

To iron on the Mickey head, I needed to support the inside of the ball cap. I first used a wadded up pair of jeans I was repairing.  It didn't give enough support.  Then I used a folded towel which worked much better. 

I looked high and low to find the right scale letters for my hats.  I also bought a fabric paint pen.  The fabric paint pen didn't give me the look I wanted, and I was lucky enough to find what I needed at Hobby Lobby.  They are JOY brand Baby Monogram Letters and Numbers.  You can find them here. 

I laid out the letters first on the hat (which was a bit tricky), then figuring out where the T needed to be more or less centered, I started ironing down letters.  I found it easiest to keep working in one direction with the letters since the iron had heated up the fabric and made the glue on the letters start to warm up a little.  

By the way, the dark spot you see above the Mickey head in the picture below?  It was wet there where I had wiped away the fabric paint.  The fabric paint really didn't work as well, though I don't have a picture to prove it to you.

The finished blue cap. 

For the record, the painters cap really didn't have enough room to use any letters, so I left it plain.

The white baseball cap with a bit more embellishment.  

 

I was overall pleased with the end result.  I had the kids wear the caps to the Disney and instead of glares, I got smiles and patience.  Acroboy wore his cap and sat front and center at Turtle Talk With Crush and he was chosen to talk to Crush.  (Boy!  Was he excited!).  I'm not sure if it was because of the hat or where he had chosen to sit, but he was thrilled none-the-less.

I think the hats also were a blessing when he got himself lost for a few minutes.  He found a parent with kids (like we've trained the kids to do), and they were talking to a Cast Member when we located him.  The hat let the Cast Member and kind parent know we had some special needs going on. 

The hats of course got dirty, and we lost one of the letters I hadn't ironed down enough.  When we got home I washed them in a sweater bag (the mesh kind that sometimes they hold nylons and other things too).  I figured if any more letters came off in the wash, they would end up in the bag.

See the clean, but damaged hat?

I then ironed the letters back on to the hat, and they look as good as new!

Torn

Torn

That's how I feel.  Torn. 

Baby Girl was evaluated in speech, gross motor and fine motor skills and in sensory/tactile sensitivities.  She qualifies for services.

She had her first evaluation with the case manager a couple of weeks ago.  We schedule another evaluation and she offered to have all them come at once.  My first reaction was, "That will overwhelm her."   I wanted to protect my baby from that.  I quickly realized that Baby Girl being overwhelmed would probably actually be a good thing for them to see.  We scheduled the evaluation.

She was, as I predicted, overwhelmed.  She shut down and turned into herself.  She closed her eyes against them several times over a short period of time.  She wouldn't complete tasks.  It was only when she had the safety net of her blanket over her head that she began to cooperate with them. 

She has a 25% speech delay.  Most of that is in receptive speech skills.  She came out as having the skills of a 12 month old.  IE--she hasn't made any progress despite our efforts. 

The occupational therapist saw a lot of the same behaviors I'm concerned with and is anxious to start working with her to see if we can help her learn to cope and deal with things in a productive manner. 

I'm relieved, happy, sad and so many emotions all at the same time.  I'm sad that my fears have been confirmed, but I am happy we've caught these things early and she can get the help she needs.  I'm relieved I will be getting support.  I've been fighting for my kids for so long I feel like I'm in a raging war and I've just received a battalion of fresh reinforcements.  I honestly get teary just thinking about it.  I'm grateful for those reinforcements. 

I am anguished for my little girl and what this might mean for her future.  It won't change who she is, but it means things will be that much tougher for her.  I have to prepare her to face the world.

I'm torn.

Are We Heading Down the Autism Road?

Back in July I wrote how I took BabyGirl into our favorite Autism medical center for her sibling study evaluation.  She excels at gross motor skills (we knew she did), but she is a bit more behind in expressive speech.  It's been over a month, and I've yet to see any real progress with her expressive speech.  (She demonstrates understanding or receptive language much more than she communicates).

We've decided that rather than wait until the 18 month evaluation, we're going to contact the Early Education program in our area and have her evaluated.  I know from our previous experience with Acroboy it can take a while to get the evaluations set up.  By the time I had Acroboy evaluated, he started talking A LOT.  He still had a verbal delay, but it wasn't significant enough to warrant him receiving services.

Baby Girl is non-verbal (Mama, Dada, baba, and uh-oh make up the sum of her vocabulary).  She is also showing more and more pickiness with foods and textures.  I've noticed her getting picky about the temperature of the water when we wash her hands too.  There is a limited range at which we wash, or she starts crying.

She is retreating more and more into herself when she gets overwhelmed.  It reminds me very much of how her oldest brother was.  Back then I thought it was just "cute".

We have the first of the evaluations set up in a couple of weeks.  I am not sure if I am jumping the gun.  Am I worrying unnecessarily?  Friends have regaled me with stories of family members who didn't talk much until they were 3 and then went on the lead "normal" lives.  What if I wait like I did with her brother, will she become verbal and then not qualify because she's not "enough" behind?  It's a tough conundrum for us.  In the end we decided we would start the process and see where it leads.  She may or may not qualify for services.  Either way I'll continue to work with her the best way I know how, and I'll know I've been doing all I can to give my baby the best start possible.

How Do You Guide Your Child Who Sabotaged His Brother's Scout Efforts?

Remember last week when I posted that Whirlwind was complaining about going on the scout camp out?  And that I mentioned it was an important camp out for both boys? 

Whirlwind sabotaged his brother.  I just don't know if it was intentional or not.

One of the final requirements for Lawboy to receive his Second Class rank was to go on a five mile hike using his compass and map along the way.  The troop got about a mile and a half into the hike when Whirlwind refused to go any further.  Another boy started complaining too and in the end they turned around.  (The troop did not have four leaders so two leaders could return the boys to safety and the other two keep the rest of the troop going).  The troop only hiked three of the five miles. 

When I talked to him about it, Whirlwind kept telling me he'd already passed off that requirement. 

I'm having a hard time discerning whether or not he was really that focused on his own scout goals and not anyone else's, or if it was intentional sabotage of his brother and he's taking a tact he thinks will spare him consequences.  (I don't think he likes the idea of his brother being closer to First Class than he is). 

I think that is one of the hardest parts of being a mom to an ASD kid (at least one of my ASD kids).  There are somethings I know he (Whirlwind) genuinely doesn't get.  Other times (because of things he's shown me he can accomplish) I think I'm getting played.  Usually I can tell the difference, but when we have somewhat unusual or new situations it is harder to figure out. 

I pray a lot for guidance as a mother.  I don't know how I could do it if the Lord didn't grant me inspiration from time to time.  I pray for wisdom and patience.  I know the Lord knows my children even better than I do, and He knows how I can best help them. 

I know the Lord answers my prayers.  On more than one occasion I've relayed a strategy or analogy I was inspired to try with one of my kids--only to have a counselor/therapist/professional tell me I was using a known technique to professionals without my knowing it was an "approved" technique.  I'm not saying this to toot my own horn about my instincts, but to give credit to my Father in Heaven who has helped me do these good things for my children.  By myself I wouldn't know how to do what I do.  With the Lord's help I can do anything.

So now my kids are home and I am lacking Solomon's wisdom.  I am going to be praying about how to handle this situation, because on my own I think I might just screw it up.

Trust in the Lord my friends, Trust in the Lord.

Trying to Motivate my ADHD, Aspergers, & Sometimes ODD Teenage Boy

My boys belong to a church-sponsored Boy Scouts of America troop.  It has been a good experience for them.  We have an upcoming camp out, and once again Whirlwind is declaring loudly he doesn't want to go.  He does this just about every scout camp out.  Somehow we convince him to go and often he comes home having had a good time.  He complains when we go the the local state park to meet up with friends from church.  I drag him there and then he never wants to leave.

I try to gently remind him that he said and did the same thing the last time we _____, and he still had a good time.  Sometimes I resort to all-out bribery/mild coercion (no electronic gadgets if he chooses to stay home).  Sometimes I lose my temper and tell him it doesn't matter if he doesn't want to go--we're going.

He's a teenager now, so everything has become "stupid" to him.  I want to roll my eyes right back at him and tell him he's being childish, but I know that will just cause problems.  (Did I ever give my own parents attitude?  I do remember being a bit obnoxious when I was in eighth grade, but I don't remember it being this bad).  He's a very different personality than Firstborn, so I'm having to develop new parenting skills.  I'm looking for ways to motivate him and not have the drama every time we need to engage him in an activity.

This camp out is an important one. Both he and his brother need to accomplish several things on it so they can earn their First Class rank.  He is more vocal than ever that he doesn't want to go, but he really needs to.  I hope it goes well.